By: Shade Rushmore
How weird is it that layoffs aren’t just for our dads anymore? I never thought that the term layoff would be one heard very frequently during my generation. I pictured layoffs as something that happened in the 1960’s at the “plant” or “factory.” Well, as we all know, layoffs are now a fact of life for many of us, including me.
Upon hearing of our company’s layoffs, the first thought that went through my mind that sultry breezeless day in July of 2001, was not “where would I work” but “what if I break a bone?” I had always heard how even a simple medical procedure like setting a fibula split in half while stage diving at an acoustic Mojo Nixon show at Waterloo Records could run into the thousands. In 26 years I have never even fractured a bone in this body, but Murphy’s Law leads me to think that now I might be in for some trouble. I traditionally have been that guy that has health coverage and never uses any of the benefits. In fact it took me over a year to even take advantage of $10 office visits. I remember discovering this and how I processed it as well: “Wait a minute…I can go into the doctor and have him do an analysis of my armpit hair, and it only costs me a ten-spot?” Answer: Yes. Somewhere in Omaha, Nebraska there is some guy that uses up all the benefit money that I pay every month and never use, I am sure of it.
But now, if I have to pay for medical attention, how will I do it? Suddenly I am extremely careful even getting a glass of water from the sink. “Is the tap on cold, don’t want to burn myself? Good. Okay, don’t accidentally poke yourself with that knife laying there Shade, good, now walk slowly back to the couch, no need to risk stumbling…you’ve made it this far. Sit down slowly, don’t pull a muscle in that sissy back of yours.” My eyes draw across the carpet, “have I vacuumed lately? Is there any pet dander that could possibly incite some sort of lung problems?” I get out the vacuum, plug it in to the electrical outlet while wearing rubber gloves…you get the point.
It has been 15 months since I was truly “gainfully” employed, and having health benefits is only ONE of the downsides of not having the dreamy “full-time job with benefits.” The American dream for me used to be to own a house, have a wife, dog and 2.5 kids. We would come home from soccer games and recitals in the Texas Limousine (GMC Suburban, or the like), the kids watching a Barney DVD in the back while I drive and talk to a client on my cell phone. My wife would be skimming the Saks catalog for what would soon be the latest addition to her Louis Vuitton collection. Now, the American dream for me is to get a job that pays at least half of what I was making. The dream is paying a credit card bill without having to wait for the unemployment check to come in first. It is actually getting cable turned on instead of fumbling with stubborn rabbit ears during commercials each night.
Oh, don’t think that I have been suckling at the teat of your tax dollars. After the layoff I did marketing contract work for six months. That paid well, but got me in tax hell. When the contract ended I got a job slinging tacos at a Tex-Mex restaurant. In between things I did some freelance marketing and PR work. There is even a millionaire in town that owes me $900 for work I did launching his new company, and he “plays unavailable” when I try to call him to get my money. (I have a signed contract from this guy too!) In the mean time I can’t even take my girl out for a decent meal. I did some more marketing work, I am doing temp work, and heck—I even mowed lawns for two months to earn some dough.
I know that this won’t last forever, as I make calls and send my resume out daily. I like to think ahead to five or seven years down the road, when I am sitting at the car dealer about to put a $5,000 down payment on my Texas Limo, yelling at my kid to leave the nice salesman’s hairpiece alone, and I think then I will look back at this time and appreciate the fact that I really learned how to live frugal and save my money. I will be grateful for the experience I gained learning how to make a pot of borracho beans stretch into a week’s worth of meals. It is then that I hear the salesman ask, “Would you like to add the leather package, built-in radar detector and novelty horn? It’s only an extra $5,000.” Oh, why not? I’m through eatin’ beans!
Tips for Surviving a Layoff
* Keep your eyes and ears open. Of both layoffs that I went through, neither was a complete surprise. If you stay in the underground “scoop” circle at your office, you will have some idea that it is coming.
Always have some money saved. Two months of pay is always good to have in reserve should something surprise you. This gives you 60 days plus your severance (if you are lucky) to find another source of income. This might even allow you to eliminate a few pesky bills that are lingering.
Cut unnecessary expenses immediately. This takes a strict awareness. Make a table of what you need versus what you want. “Wants” should be cut from the budget for the time being. Example: Cable gets cut. Internet service stays. New clubbing clothes get cut. Interview jacket stays.
Contact the unemployment office and apply for benefits. This was the hardest part for me. I don’t believe in taking money like this, but when I realized that the money they were giving me was earned by me in the first place, I didn’t feel so bad. Actually, it is hard to get through a layoff without it.
Send a friendly positive email out to your business contacts. In many cases they have worked with you and know your value to them and to your former company. Don’t send it soliciting sorrow, but rather to make everyone aware that you are taking an unplanned change in your work status and would appreciate any information concerning open positions. This can very well lead to a quick interview.
Sign up for a temp agency right away. In a down economy, many companies prefer to use temp help because in the long run it costs them less. They don’t have to pay for insurance and other costly benefits. This can at least keep you busy and provide some extra income. NOTE: You can still earn unemployment while you work part time.
Get a part-time job. Even working at a restaurant or retail store can help you. For one, you are out in the public making contacts that can lead to work. You are making some much-needed cash. Additionally, you are keeping from going nuts in your 700 square foot condo.
Get on the Web. You need to start looking for work and sending your resumes quick. Don’t forget you are not he only one laid off in the town, and it really becomes a race. Use the usual sources for jobs, and create your own. Make a list of companies in your town and start checking their Web sites for open positions.
Lose the Pride. The fastest way to get a job is to have a job. What I mean is, if you have to take work doing something that you think is “beneath you” or “boring”, then do it. Remember that it won’t be forever and it will help to keep your credit rating good while keeping food down your throat and a roof over your head. The worse thing you could do is sit there waiting for a position that reads, “Wanted: 5’5’’ brown-haired Technical Writer wanted. Must ride a Mongoose with a red seat and live in the McAble neighborhood. Prefer candidate have the first name John, and a birth certificate from New Jersey.”
Keep trying! Boy, it will be tough. Especially as the calendar flips and you are still looking. Don’t get depressed. It isn’t your fault, as long as you are giving it a good go. Be creative and find ways to stand out in a crowd of jobless people.
