Star Wars Episode II
		Review by: Donnie Cock
		Star Wars Episode II
		Directed by George Lucas

I enjoyed this film. It wasn't the eye-popping visual effects or the death defying action. What has made this a beautiful film has to be the gut-wrenching romance. I almost hate to say it but my life and the Star Wars saga bear so much resemblance it¹s scary.

It's eerie how Senator Amidala and Anakin Skywalker¹s romance mirrors my own life experiences. A little over a decade ago I had a relationship not unlike the one portrayed on film. Everything was going fine until I fell into a pit of depression. After some time this depression manifested itself into its true form, schizophrenia. This "dark side" enveloped anything and everything around it.

I am assuming that we all know that Anakin will someday become Darth Vader. Well through various forms of therapy I have realized that I am Darth Vader. This fact becomes more and more evident through the progression of the saga, or dare I say it, biography. While watching the film all I could do is yell at the screen. "Anakin! Don't go to the dark side. Take your medicine! Do it for me! I know! Anakin! Please take your medicine!" I yelled in vain. Star Wars Episode II only introduces us to the horrors of what is yet to come. Let me assure you, it only gets worse. Anakin and I travel into alley ways. We sleep under cardboard to somehow protect ourselves from harsh nature. We peddle our bodies to obese men with obese wives and obese children. We participate in the consumption of evil drugs in a lame attempt to somehow rehabilitate our sad and sorry life. It is a tragic time. I really don¹t look forward to reliving these experiences so I am debating on if I will ever see the third installment.

So what happened to this Senator Amidala of mine? Although depressed and on the verge of full blown schizophrenia our relationship did bear the fruits of many hours of hardcore monkey love. We had two children and although I haven't been maimed yet, the prophecy will be fulfilled. My son will destroy me. I truthfully haven't seen my kids in years. Through contractual obligations and or restraining orders I really can't even get near them. I know this is for the best. I am just delaying the inevitable.