Because Bad Clothes Can Happen to Good People

Do you have some fashion no-no's that really piss you off? Do you ever feel that it is your moral obligation to help people in fashion need? Is the urge to be catty and nitpick other people's taste in clothing too strong for you to keep to yourself? Good, we wanna hear all about it. EMAIL US YOUR DOWNRIGHT TACKY COMMENTS AND WE WILL POST THEM! naughtysecretaryclub@yahoo.com

If you are easily offended, have no sense of humor, or tend to take things a little too seriously please turn back now.

 

Karly Hand, Austin, TX

One word: Pleats. Oh, and when girls pull their hair back real tight except those two heavily moused curling-iron tendrils flanking the sides of their face, a common phenomenon among brides.

Joy Helton

Earth tones. A few are okay, but when you blend in with the foliage it's too much. The worst is when people wear brown pants with a green shirt--you look like a freaking tree. Oh, and Birkenstocks. Whoever invented those deserves to suffer. They are the most ugly, clunky, pathetic excuse for a shoe ever created, not to mention they’re incredibly expensive. Who in their right mind would pay that much money for something so revolting? Because they’re sandals, they have the added ick factor of displaying feet, which is traumatic for my foot-phobic self. Sometimes people wear socks with their Birkenstocks, and although I enjoy not having to look at their feet, it really looks tacky. I hate Birkenstocks. And earth tones. It makes living in the northwest difficult sometimes.

Keiko Stronach

Wool socks with sandals and ties with plaid shirts yuck, yuck, yuck!

Sierra Gitlin Carson City, NV

What is with otherwise reasonable adults wearing clothing with embroidered cartoon characters? You've seen her: the woman wearing a pair of overalls with Winnie the Pooh on the front. And as if an oversized denim shirt over a turtleneck wasn't bad enough, these overgrown toddlers have to have freakin' Bugs Bunny on it! I'm not saying that if you're in Disney World you can't put on a Micky Mouse T-shirt in the name of good spirit and all, but honestly I think people over the age of nine should avoid wearing cartoons in public. These are the same people who put cartoon stickers all over their cars. As if that minivan wasn't ugly enough! I understand that these people probably have children, but did they abandon all principles of style, taste, and shame when the kid was born? Dress your child in Winnie the Pooh (if you must) but for the love of god, have some dignity! Never, ever, ever, and I mean ever leave the house in white tights. Unless you're a nurse, and even then you should think twice.

Tara Smith

Okay i have a few complaints. People who have massive lovehandles who wear hiphuggers and belly shirts, its just not right. Rainbow toe socks, come on now have some self respect. Bras under sheer "shirts". Its almost not worth bothering with the "shirt". People with gross feet who wear flip flops, why should the whole world have to look at that?!

Bohm, Erikka

I think my newest peeve goes to J. Lo and her damned velour sweatsuit sets that only seem to start at a size 16. Unless you have the body of J. Lo or do pilates everyday, there's no way that thing is gonna look good on you. Worse, most women wear low-cut underwear with those things, so it looks like thier ass is being strangled under a velour blanket.

Other cardinal sins: socks and sandals, capri pants with boots in the winter, tube top armpit overhang, leggings (these flatter absolutely no one!), white hoisery on anyone who is not a RN, overly 'ironic' eighties-inspired gear, Tommy Hilfiger, tapered leg jeans, platforms (any shape, any style), grossly oversized pants with a million strings and pockets on them, colored hoisery with sneakers, peasant tops (please kill this trend asap), jeans with lacing at the crotch (what are you, a football player on his/her day off?), leather pants on men (too gigantic), and tummy shirts.

Erin Olson St. Augustine, FL

I absoultely HATE it when women wear black or navy pantyhose and bright white or light colored heels/or any kind of white shoe for that matter. YUCK!!!!! Also, I can't figure out why in the hell some women pluck their eyebrows either completely off, or so thin they look like they had an ink pen drawn on their face. For the love of God, they need to see someone to "professionally" arch their eyebrows. No need to restort to plucking them all off. Hell, only old ladys have the real thin eyebrows!

Dave Springfield, MO WEBSTERS II defines TACT: "The ability to say and do the the right thing at the right time. " I say you could wear "snow-white" in the dead of winter and brown in summer...if, if you have tact. A lovely young woman or girl wearing brown shorts with a white top and brown, strappy leather sandals is oh so hot. White low riding, flair bottom pants with those boots with the tiny tip that's squared-off is real nice with a sweater. I am a 38 year old guy that really does'nt dress "with-it" myself. I am just a laborer that climbs trees for a living. Yes, I still wear Levis and T-shirts. But I do know what I like and I have a kind of foot-fetish. But not your everyday kind. I am a visual type of guy and I know this statement will get a bad response but I absolutely love big, chunky, wedge-heeled platform thongs and toe ring sandals. But a shoe does not have to be a high heel to "do-it" for me. I love the delicate "spaghetti" strap thongs by makers such as Ralph Lauren, Steve Madden and Eddie Bauer makes a beautiful little "slingback" flat with two tiny cris-crossing straps accross the front. These worn with toe rings are definately what works for me. 1969 called and said: "They want thier Birkenstocks back." But then they called right back and said: "Sorry,our bad, keep'em, they aren't cool then and they aren't cool now. "Girls,Women,Please! Wear feminine shoes and sandals. Go to your closets and give your Birks to your brother... so he can throw them away for you. I do not claim to be right or wrong, just simply stating what I like to see women wear. Wedge heeled sandals are truely the one thing that is timeless. The ancient Mayan women were dipicted in drawings wear a form of wedge heels. The ancient Egyptians beat the French all to hell with wall paintings dating back 2500 to 1200 BC wearing what appeared to be a simi high-heeled wedge thong sandal. Women wore them at the turn of the century, Marylin Monroe wore them and you should be wearing them right now. Final note: My favorite look. A slingback,high heeled sandal with a delicate ankle bracelet,a wedge heeled mule or slip-on with toe rings and a very small double strand pearl anlke bracelet and last but not least a nice flat leather sandal wheather it is a thong, toe ring type or a slingback with silver or gold toe rings work for this old. (I am reffering to toe rings as an actual toe ring,not part of the shoe) I know you are not all dummies but someone may not know what I mean. I am sure all of the females out there reading this are quite lovely or you would'nt be here. Anyone wearing anything with a cartoon character needs an ass whippin'. And you young and beautiful girls out there getting a "Taz" or a "Tweety" tattoo...you need a beatin'. Mirrors are everywhere, too bad people do not take advantage of this. I really got a kick out of Michael's (from NY) thoughts and likes and dislikes. I am just a hillbilly boy from Springfield, Missouri but my gosh people, get with the program. I adore women. I have no problem with larger women. Fact is, I like to see a larger gal in an "above the knee" skirt with sexy, strappy open-toe heels with stockings or bare legs. BUT,make the stockings or hose plain toe please. I see so many people writing in and saying how much they hate to see the reinforced toe hose with open toe heels. I understand this but I think the plain toe is fine. Also I am a big fan of toe rings and ankle bracelets. Classy never goes out of style. Some trends are great but I prefer a woman with her own sense of style. Pretty hands and feet are a favorite of mine. I absolutely love the French Pedicure/Manicure. Colours are fine but please leave the metalic bronzes and dark reddish-browns at home. Corals,pinks,some reds and even some of the youthful, transparent lavenders, blues and pearlescent colours are nice. Hey, this is only what I like. I am not saying it is for everyone. Be feminine. Oh, one last note. I think Micheal said this but I agree. Someone wrote in and said they hated heels with pants and his reply was: "What are they supposed to wear, tennis shoes or sneakers?" More power to all the women that DO wear heels with pants or slacks. Especially open-toe heels such as strappy platforms or a delicate "slingback" heel or mules. Oh, the sound of a girl walking in mules...sweet music! No two rhythms' are alike. Wedge-heeled thongs or mules are delightful. Especially when accompinied with a toe ring or two.   Thad & Ronda Turner Open toed shoes with socks & open toed shoes with no pedicure. Leggings so tight that you have a THONG PANYLINE (oh the drama). Socks under sandals. Knee socks with shorts. Children's clothes with scottie dogs on them.   Jennifer - Chicago Winter peeve: women who take the time to pull an elegant ensemble together, whether it be a cocktail dress or a suit---and then ruin it by throwing on a lumpy-ass ski parka to brave the elements. Please, sisters, invest in a full-length wool coat! Jennifer from Chicago   Ginger G You would think that if you live in NY they would know better...but no..a few things that drive me over the edge. 1) chicks that put make up on in the train,and when they do it looks as if they might as well not have made the effort...no improvement whatsoever! And guys please stop watching those rap vids...pants in xxl is definitely uncool...(unless you got that 6pack working) Its a no no! Not every guy looks good w/a George Clooney hair cut...If you end up lookin more like Moe/from the 3Stooges please opt for something else and the last thing I truly hate is the white boy/or girl sporting Dreads it looks too skanky for words. Rabid Strawberries High heeled shoes with jeans are the best. you're wacky. my biggest fashion hate at the moment is most likely the visors or the guys pants that are saggy in the ass but get tighter. Guys should wear tight pants. Unless they weigh 1 billion pounds. Oh. And who cares if your bra shows under a tank top? At least they'll know you're wearing one, and if you aren't, hey, that's cool too!

Stephanie I try to be open minded when it comes to fashion (certainly not everyone would agree with my own wardrobe) but when it comes down to it . . . those butt jeans they make now that look like they have been rolled in the dirt or have those funky creases all the way up the leg REALLY get me going. If you want dirty pants, why are you buying a new pair?? Just take your current jeans to the park and roll down a hill-- it gives the same effect and at a much more affordable price.   Pixie, The Midwest I am a big girl, and I mean I wear the plus size clothes and everyhting. Plus, I live in the midwest, so we get a lot of scary fashion no-no's here. I hate to see other large women dresses as tho they are a size 5. They are really not fooling anyone. I cringed when Fredericks of Hollywood came out with plus sizes because I knew some size 24 woman would put on a spandex tank dress and a pair of LA Gear shoes and wear it to the county fair. There is nothing scarier than 300lbs of woman wrapped in hot pink spandex, barrelling down a ride platform. If you haven't seen it, you will just have to trust me. They make very flattering clothing for big girls now. Lane Bryant, Liz Claiborne, and several other top names now make nice clothes that fit and are fashionable. They even make bras so you don't get the nasty double bubble. Another hint: If you put on a thong, or a bikini swimsuit, and cant see it, you are too fat for it-leave it at the store and buy something that looks okay. If you are fat and have questions about fashion, read BBW or MODE magazine, they have all kinds of tips for the big chicks.   Hate Mail & Such... Laura Aw, common! What's wrong with shorts and tights. That would be one return to 80s style that could be welcomed as well as improved! And hose with open toe shoes? Why not?! Sure it may be 70ish or 80ish but with 2002 variations, I think it may come back "big-time"! Casady from PA Ok, first of all...all of you people have WAAAAYYY too much time on your hands. I mean..I admit to having no life, but this is just sad. It's amazing how shallow you all are that you think this much about how people dress...I mean really! Why should it matter how people dress? Honestly, I would like to see how all of YOU dress. It really can't be much better than any of the people you're describing.   For the people with the hose and open toed shoes phobia Yes, they actually make it, Toeless Panty Hose. Another alternative to the hoseless look is something that my grandmother used to do during World War II, when nylon stockings were rare and only rich women could get silk hose: she went to the salon and had them paint a thin black line up the backs of both of her legs.   Mocha i have something to rant about. the fact that we have all these women talking about how tacky everything is. Is everything about appearance? so some girls need to have their boobs hang out to feel attractive, so some women feel cute when they wear christmas sweaters and colored tights under shorts. BIG DEAL! they feel confident and happy the way they are. imagine what it might do to them after you talk about comming up to them and telling them how gross they look. One last thing, not everyone can afford the lastest fasion and still wear that hand-me-down sweater their mom had. is that such a crime? wake up people and find something better to moan about. Have you read a newspaper?   Gretchen Spence I have only one thing to say about sleeveless turtlenecks - Audrey Hepburn, no make that two - Laura Petrie! Sleeveless Turtlenecks are very attractive. Try them with side-zip slim pants and flats - I hope you will reconsider your position on this.   Tips from your editor.... OPEN TOED SHOES AND HOSE I work in a downtown office where the dress code is enforced. One of our rules is hose with open toed shoes. God help me, but some people actually do it. I have even witnessed hosed feet popping out with a reinforced toe. SLEEVELESS TURTLENECKS This is a hard issue to discuss, because well I own one. But, I can openly admit that it is completely wrong based on principal. TANK TOPS AND BRAS I thought it was gross when Gwen Steffani started doing it years ago and I still think it is gross now. Girls who wear a thin strapped tank top and a bra hanging out. Invest in a strapless bra or some duct tape.   MUSTACHES I have recently spotted a new trend in the Austin scene that has caused some reason for alarm. For some strange reason the male species of scenesters seems to be emulating the Village People and various other outwardly gay icons of the late 70’s and early 80’s. No they are not wearing leather chaps or mirrored sunglasses, what they are wearing is a mustache. The sad and pathetic part is some of these guys don’t even have enough peach fuzz to fill the little ratty thing out so they just looks like they forgot to wipe their mouths after drinking some chocolate milk. Wise up guys, mustaches are for dads that don’t know any better (like mine bless his little heart) and people who go to biker bars. If you thought you were having trouble getting laid before, let me guaranty – this is not going to help matters.

Nathan Taylor

Speaking of lowrise jeans, I'd like to say something about thongs. Underwear are meant to be just that- UNDER your clothes. At school, every day I can very plainly see the thong underwear of almost 1/4 of th girls I see. "Dont look" you say? When the underware are hot pink, and the pants are black, it's really hard to miss. Sweats, and sneakers- these items look fine in public- if your going to the gym. otherwise try to wear something with a little style. I'm always going into supermarkets or even sometimes expensive department stores and seeing people walking around in sweatpants. I mean, they're shopping for clothes in sweatpants? Why buy Clothes if you're not going to wear them? Leave Your Pajamas at home I say. Black socks and shorts. What the crap is that about? Old men do this all the time. I see them in public parks or sometimes at the grocery store, and they have on kaki shorts and black socks with dress shoes. I personally feel that dress shoes shouldnt be worn with shorts in the first plave. Invest in some loafers or sandals or something. I say that now, but then they'll wear socks with the sandals. The socks/ sandals thing drives me crazy. Do you want your feet covered? ok then wears.If not, then wear sandals. You cxant have your cake and eat it too.

 

Tom & Cindy McVean

I read one of the comments on Mariah Carey and I have to agree, she looks like a slut. What I need to add is: PUT ON A F'N BRA.

 

Brian

If I see one more tight cocktail dress, flip flops, or torn jeans at Sunday morning mass, I'm going to walk up to the person wearing them and slap them across the face so hard their mother will feel it.

 

Lesley Lawson

Whoever came up with the idea of "lame" shoes-you know the ones-Gold flats with the bow at the top-EWWW! Oh, and don't forget the matching patchwork "lame" sweater and stirrup pants! God, it's just so wrong! And what about women who still insist on wearing plastic red,blue,white, etc.. jewelry-the hoops and fat bangles! I thought Paul Harris and Maurices went out of business! I have to agree with the others-Please stop wearing "pooh" items if your over 16-big sweatshirts,denim shirts, and those stupid leather baseball jackets! I come from the midwest originally-they still wear turtlenecks and those horrid Christmas sweaters with the gold hearingbone chain necklace as an accent.

 

SurRoo

What's bad, is dressing little 2-10 year olds like 20-30 year olds who are going clubhopping.

 

Janina de Luna-Azul, Austin, Tx.

2" heel and platform slides and shoes ON 5 YEAR OLD KIDS! Also dressing the kids in frou frou dresses, and Sunday best slacks and shoes just to go to the grocery store in the middle of the week.

 

Sabrina Fowler,Moncton, NEW BRUNSWICK, Canada

This is something that really sticks in my craw! Women who wear navy stockings with white shoes or even navy and white spectator pumps...God grant me the serenity...eeep! Even worse, when you have a navy blue dress/suit/skort thing from Sears with white polka dots on it...Also, purses that have the leather patchwork in about 20 different colours and shoes of the same ilk...the idea behind this was to have one purse to go with everything...don't be so frigging cheap and get some good handbags! A new fashion that is really, really bad on people...the belly shirt and the low rise jeans...if you don't spend your freaking life at the gym, leave this fashion alone! I am not of the type that can wear this fashion so, I leave it to the teeny boppers! If you are over 25, you should not wear little goody barretes with yellow bows and blue birds and crap! Neither should you wear stretch pants or sweatshirts with any animated character (pooh bear and mickey mouse) that obviously came from the junior dept of Target! Nothing worse than seeing a 45 year old women with root ridden blond hair and frosted pink lipstick trying to look 17...nor should you carry a Hello Kitty or LadyBug purse obviously created for 5 year olds...the same goes for Teletubby or Barbie backpacks...I could go on, sorry for the RANT!

 

Jen-Austin, TX

For the love of all that is good and pure---do away with Casual Fridays. At my office all of these old hags show up wearing tapered jeans and keds. First of all, where in the world do you BUY tapered jeans? Second of all, keds? Keds!? One woman in the elevator was wearing pajama pants and a hockey jersey. I look more professional when I'm cleaning my toilet. Why in the world would you wear that to work? Dress in your normal clothes---they ain't all that nice anyways and you look pretty casual as it is.

Ali Kazaam (Kennewick, Washington)

Oh my gosh, I must air my own opinions on this subject! The visor trend? It's sick. Unless you really truly are trying to block the sun from your eyes, why are you wearing a visor? It doesn't hide your hair, so it's not even as good as a ball cap. Speaking of baseball hats, put them on STRAIGHT! I don't even mind if they're backwards, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, do not wear your hat sideways. It looks ridiculous. Shall I go on? Mullets are so completely hideous. They are made fun of by everyone who doesn't have them, so why do some people still get their hair cut that way? Do they actually think it looks good? Next up: Large men - please make sure your shirt is large enough to cover your belly. There are fewer things more disgusting than a man wearing a t-shirt with his belly hanging out the bottom. It closely follows plumber butt (also an obvious no no). I am among the population of larger women, so I know what I'm talking about when I say that there are just some people who should not wear short shorts, navel baring tops, bikinis, or tight clothes of any sort. And ladies, I know it can be tough, but wearing a too-small bra and creating 'double-bubble' or the 'I-am-overflowing-from-my-bra' look is just not okay. Go the extra mile, spend the extra dollar, get over your embarrassment and talk to a saleslady - whatever it takes, get a bra that actually fits! Jelly shoes are soooo over - so are babydoll dresses. Put away your flannel shirts (unless you're a lumberjack), and I hate to break it to you, but a sports jacket over a t-shirt and jeans is just NOT dressing up. I could go on forever, but I won't.

Anomymous you know the hair that is slicked down flat on the head, falls in a greasey ponytail, and has little bangs that looks painstakingly seperated? those bug me. Catlin Watkins Girls who wear a white tank top with a black bra. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? It looks skanky and sloppy. Ick. Another one is wearing socks when you're also wearing capris. It looks horrible. Makes your legs look short and stumpy. Robert Tyler, TX The other day my family and I were walking around the mall and all I could think about was "how are the parents of these 14 year old, scanky looking, hoochy mama, girls letting them leave the house with those clothes (or lack there of) on?" Seriously, one girl had those Britney Spears "Ooops I'm showing my ass AGAIN" jeans and what looked like a bikini top on. She had the body of Gumby and her back looked like the poster of a starving Ethiopian kid. What pisses me off about that (having two boys and a girl myself) is that Pocahontas might just get what she's asking for and actually pick up some 18 year old mall leach. Does she think he likes her keen fashion sense. NO. HE LIKES THE EASY ACCESSIBILITY. Next thing you know there in the back of Butch's car and with one pull of a string and one pluck of the button (that was about to fly across the room and put someone's eye out) the deed is done. Pocahontas's parents find out (and are so shocked that princess's innocence is gone) that Butch is in jail. Your kid is just that a kid, and lord knows some of these parents don't want conflict with their kids. Make them dress appropriately. The Ragging Hormones of teenage boys do not need that kind of stimulation. If you let you daughter dress like a hooker than guys are going to assume "Hey look a hooker." Besides there are easier and cheaper methods to let the world know your easy. They even have a T-shirt that says "I F^%K on the first date!" that accomplishes the same thing. Erin Smith/ Auburn, AL -"Sun Tan" hose (bonus points for gold anklet underneath the hose) -Tri-tone gold jewelry (especially anything involving roses) -Twelve year olds in boob tops and platforms. Hope 23 San Marcos, TX I for some reason or another have a problem with jeans that have no back pockets. There is nothing to distract ones attention from your ass. At least with pockets it softens the blow to the viewer's eyes. Just one other thing irritates me more than a pocketless ass. Now we should all know by now that in the year 2001 scrunches are not okay. Scrunches themselves in hair are not too bad. I have a problem when girls wear them around their wrists as if they were bracelets. For gods sake either put them in your hair or put them away…..preferably far away.

More Tips from your editor.... SHOWING YOUR T-BACK Now I don't know if our in house topless dancer Tawny called Cosmo and let her in on her tip about letting the world see your T-back panties or what, but someone needs to stop the insanity. Nothing against T-backs themselves, hell I have a pair nestled annoyingly between my ass cheeks as I type, but I don't want the world to see them. Lately I have seen too many stars, models, average wanna-hookers at the mall sporting this sleazy look. I thought the whole point of T-backs was to hide something - panty lines, now why in God's name would you want to show them off. Pull up your pants ladies, unless of course you are going for that ass flossing floozy look, you won't be dateless I promise you that. AT THE DRIVE IN HAIR It takes a rock star to pull off an afro, so please don't try this at home. the more popular At the Drive In seem to get the more bad hair spottings I see. People with videos can pull it off, your average greasy kid at a show looks like an asshole. CREAM AND WHITE NAVY AND BLACK GOLD AND SILVER I have lot's of friends that will differ with me on this issue. It's just a hang up I have. Matching whites is important if you are going to go there, black and navy give you that "hi, I'm a bruise look", and silver and gold make you look like you just don't own a jewelry box and have to wear everything all at once. SHORTS WITH TIGHTS Seems like every winter I see some middle aged woman out and about, usually around Christmas dashing around in shorts, typically wool or velvet with tights on underneath them. The worst are the people that try to make it seasonal and wear a pair of say red shorts with green tights, then some sort of Holiday sweater. God help those women. LACY BRAS -Well not all the time. Some girls have a bad habit of wearing a lacy bra under a tight shirt which in turn makes their boobs look like two ziplock bags of ricotta cheese. Every woman needs at least one, ugly, smooth fleshtoned bra in their lives BEIGE, TAN, EGGSHELL, OR ECRU PUMPS Just because the shoe is not exactly white, does not make it OK. Any light colored pump, heel, or flat in general is ugly. The hideousness can be augmented when paired with sun tan hose. SUMMER CLOTHES IN THE WINTER You have seen them. On your way to see a band play you pass some group of 18 year old girls standing in line to get into a dance club in 22 Degree weather wearing basicly nothing. In the summer that is fine, but in the winter, I know your ass is cold.

Emily from the triangle area

first and foremost: souveneir sweatshirts with names of places that you have been ( or not been) that were obviously screenprinted or embroidered(!!!) 10 years ago when grunge fashion was still "underground". big no no. tapered jeans. stone wash jeans. jeans with the dip dye effect on the bottoms of the legs. faux snakeskin accessories from claire's boutique. anything from claire's. honey, when you go to wet seal and you see a shirt that says it's a size 11. and you are a size 11 at sears. get the 13. k? flip flops and tight polo shirt on guys. in the winter. turtlenecks under sweaters. and showing off your $17 undies from viccy's does not make you the fashion plate.

Megan Redhead, CA

The trend seems to have died down from my high school days but I encounter it sometimes: platform shoes. Platform (foam particularly) sandals, platform tennis shoes .. and always on short girls. Let's face it, lifting yourself off the ground two inches doesn't do anything for your figure. If you want to be taller, buy a pair of heels; at least they make your legs look good. (I'm currently reminded of Isaac Mizrahi or someone of the sort commenting that Camryn Manhein was the only person he could think of looking taller in platforms but she had a 2' Carmen-Miranda-fruit-basket on her head. Get the picture?)

 

Tina Harvey

Let me just sum this up quickly; dress your age!!!! Nothing is more evil than an over their prime hoochie wanna-be or a too young to know what a hoochie is wearing clothes that were obviously bought in the wrong department at the K-mart. Too many "over 50" gals sporting "pleather" pants! No one really thinks that you parked the Harley out back!!! Those little girls that wear the micro-minis and the platforms.......I truely fear for their spindley little ankles!

 

leigh-ann, new york via austin

jennifer lopez should be flogged for the culture-biting trend she started. blondies in bedazzled doo-rags with those god-awful purple, blue or pink heart-studded sunglasses have taken over our city streets and it's something we just shouldn't stand for. when we think cornrows, let's picture stevie wonder instead. and, to keep the freight train of ire on track, let's take some time to berate those damned baby tees with the cheeky little sayings on them: 'spoil me,' '69,' 'princess.' it just hurts so much even thinking about it!!!! additionally: eyebrows plucked to oblivian, tatooes of your own name, adults who go out in public w/ matching outfits, thongs showing above the waist line, those trendy jeans w/o out a waist-line worn by women who are much to thick to have a waste-line in the first place, those damned sweater set things, for the love of god: CARGO PANTS, shiny button-up shirts on guys, shiny button-up shirts on guys, unbuttoned w/ nothing underneath ...the list of offenses goes on and on.

 

Nicole Wagner

Yoga pants are for yoga class, not the club..or the office.. Nicole

 

Erin, San Diego, CA

I am scared. Very, very scared...of the return of 80's fashion. If I see one more poly/nylon wrap-a-f^#@ing-round skirt, fabric dangly scoop neckline blouses in pinstripes, or the horrible scrunch-down boots, I am going to have a fit. I have to admit that in the 80's I did have an assortment of Dove shorts, legwarmers and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans - but for Christ's sake, I was 10 years old! Truth be told, I'd rather see those teenage girls in their tank tops with bra straps that in full 80's garb.

 

Leesa age 30 in the New York City area

What I think is downright tacky is that so-called "suntan" pantyhose has become a fashion no-no. Yes, fake suntan colors are ugly and tacky, and perhaps one shouldn't wear reinforced toe with sandals.....but nice "nude" "natural" "beige" or "coco" (depending on ones skin tone) do exist and are APPROPRIATE for office wear.

In fact, some of us are required to wear them to work, so why must we be made to feel unfashionable?

A good "natural" color pantyhose is practically undetecable to the eye and actually improves the appearance of most legs - which brings me to what IS downright tacky - no stockings worn with veins, stretch marks, ghostly white legs, uneven skintone, unshaven legs, jiggly calves, mishapen knees and other HORRORS I've seen lately in the name of going FASHIONABLY STOCKING-LESS!

 

Anomymous

I hate the people who stop right in front of you in the mall so they can check themselves out in the glass windows of one of the stores. This in itself wouldn't be all that annoying if they hadn't already nearly caused you to run them over when they had stopped to check their hair/makeup/clothing just a couple of stores back already. And those who don't look before they spray. What is with people who have a need to suddenly whip out a thing of hairspray or perfume and fumigate a 4 foot radius around them with no warning? It's like they are trying to create some kind of force field around them. And twelve year old girls who want to dress like any of the pop tart princesses that try to pass their skanky sleazy looks off as being pure and innocent. *coughs Britney*

 

J. Grey -- Denver

I work downtown and have to watch the rich, suburbanite women roam the city at lunch like so many grazing cows. I try not to hate rich people but I have to ask: Are they so far removed from the rest of society that they can't figure out how to dress? If I were like these rich b*tch*s and had that kind of money, I would in fact spend it on a fashion consultant. Just one of the style atrocities I've encountered while downtown: A ridiculous bright red Christmas sweatshirt (an "oh-so-cute" teddy bear beneath a Christmas tree), and the pants, get this, black leather. In the middle of summer.

 

Michael Sheeley

Where to start.... Working on 7th Ave in NYC you get to see it all, the good the bad the ugly, the locals and the tourists. I read through everybody elses posts before sending this and some I agree with and some I dont. I see lots of people with jeans and high heels and I like it. What else should a woman wear with jeans... sneakers? And I whole-heartedly agree with trying to persuade the big girls from wearing the little girls clothes. Nobody except your husband should have to see THAT belly, especially when your gut sticks out farther than your boobs. Please dont show that off.

Now the things that are tacky on 7th Ave....... The back ripples: from when your bra and shirt are so tight that I see not only the full outline of the bra but the ripples of fat below it. Please find a sweatshirt to wear.

Cowboy hats and cowboy boots: Retro is fun but not the cowboy hat, only YOU think you look cool. And trust me, you're not just ahead of the masses. And who said it was okay to wear cowboy boots with dress pants to the office. Did you ride a horse to the job or what? They are so gross. Even most southerners who have travelled into the nearest big town in the last decade wont wear them anymore. They are not comfortable, the offer no traction, and ......they are so country, Randy Quaid in Vacation, incestuous, hillbilly, TACKY, etc.

Grandma perfume: you actually went to a store, smelled that maxi-pad scent, and then paid money for it? Do you see the other people on the subway staring at you as they breathe out of their mouth?

The goth thing: nobody really got it when it started 10 years ago, so stop promoting it. All of those piercings are not attractive or sexy, they make us cringe. No one wants to kiss a person with a fish hook in their lip. And arent you cold with all those rips and tears in your clothes? Stop at Bloomies and go to the makeup counter and ask for some help, cause the pasty white face and black lipstick / eyes just isnt necessary in NYC in the winter. The cold and lack of sun in the winter make us all pasty enough.

The jigga man thing: Jay Z and his Rocawear are about the biggest marketing scam / joke ever. I wont front I do have a red Roca t-shirt that I wear. But the size 52 pants that are belted around the middle of your ass are gonna make your grandkids laugh for hours at you. I dont find anything sexy about people wearing burlaps sacks. Same goes for huge pants shirts jackets etc. And its even worse on a white boy cause not only are you racially confused but you fell into the maketing trap and you look like a fool. Big pants and a limp does not make a white boy black. It only makes it obvious that you are a poseur and have such a lack of self confidence that you have taken on the personality of another. Really.

Pump fat: the fat the pushes up out of the top of your too-small shoes. Just buy the right size. You need a sturdy foundation to support the structure. And just because you've managed to mold your foot into a size 7 doesnt mean you dont really wear a 9E.

Those big panties: I can understand that you ladies may need a break from wearing the thongs everyday, but when I see a pantyline down below wear you ass even starts Ive got wonder who dressed you that morning. Keep in mind that somebody may glance down at that thing.

People that give me a look for wearing real fur: I know its controversial and I know that the animals are anally electrocuted before skinned, but I am higher on the food chain and I like to wear them. Its warm, its stylish, and I look damn good in it, so backdafukup. If you dont like fur, dont wear it.

Tying the sweater / sweatshirt around your waist: What are you hiding? I like asses, why cant I see yours? The rest of your clothes are skin tight and you're hiding the best part. Do be so self conscious and just show it off. And its usually the hotties that hide it. The fatties never cover it up unfortuately.

 

Carol Jude

FANNY PACKS!!!!! Most especially fanny packs worn in the front - the other day as I was coming to work a woman was walking towards me, rummaging for something in her (worn in the front) fanny pack. The visual was really, really creepy, it looked like she had a terrible case of crabs or something. Horrible.

 

Karaschino G. Fort Worth, Texas

The prospect of such tacky clothing has deprived me of almost all sentence-forming skills, so: upside down visors, pink glitter camo which would be practical if perhaps you were hiding in the magical gumdrop forest which you most likely are not, princess clothing, anti-boy paraphernalia (extra points for spelling 'boys' with a z) mini-backpacks (especially when dozens of rubber keychains are leached onto the sides) hibiscus print orange nylon board shorts, large silk flower corsages regardless of what Sex and the City says, 50 dollar DIY shirts...given safety pins ARE EXTREMELY COMPLEX MECHANISMS and you would do better to pay approximately 3.50/pre-applied pin than to DARE risk a prick, tight zebra print capris, camel toes, more power to the large girl but still would it kill you to cover up that pale little ring of dimpled fat peering out from beneath your babydoll tee?, pre-ripped/faded pants- dont you know that half the fun is getting out there and making those rips YOURSELF??? ribcage chic, and though I am a HUGE fan of orientalia, i wouldnt parade around in a shirt with something i didnt understand (most likely it means Stupid American whore with a rich daddy) yellow smiley faces, tie-dye

 

anonymous

Where do I begin? Ubergoth - skanky black ensemble, w/6 mazillion rings hanging off clothes (looks like you're ready for K2 climbing) snarafy hair extension hella past their prime, and too much makeup on top of bad skin. Now bad skin is nobody's fault, but it just SHOWS IT UP extra special good!! Nylon anything w/logo on a human, unless it's a body bag. Hot, nasty, and SO unflattering. Too much bad aftershave adds to the collective headache. If you need a name on your clothes, I assume you are in summer camp. That hairdo of million rubber bands. Looks painful. Porkpie hats - you know who you are. Those awful decorated bandanna scarves. Makes you look like a demented munckin or Hedda Nussbaum. The good stuff. Yes, Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, Debbie Harry. Retro yes. Wearable yes. Sexy, yet functional yes. Take a hint. J.Lo (LOL!), Mariah, Brittany, etc. Run! These people do not look like that when they wake up. They may not even be real. And look at their significant others! Or don't. You might go blind. And I won't even touch high school "fashion". Just because you wear an athletic team logo shirt style, etc., YOU ARE NOT!!! Adults who dress out of a catalog - the "uniform" of middle aged men. Dockers, Plaid Shirts, deck shoes, no, no, it's too much. And equally, their overworked out wives who shop at Bacteria's Secret. And that universal hair do they all have. I must stop now. What am I wearing? You'll never know.

 

Tracy Gold

I was in the mall and Victoria's Secret (evidently the secret is that noone has real boobs and everyone wears a water-inflatable-V logo-cross strap-rhinestone-miracle bra?) anyways, ya know those siily sale bins they have at the tables? Well, all of the 34DD to 38DD bras, were, sit down for this one, padded, majorly padded or they were those cheesy water bras. Just what I want to do, make them look bigger right? Like, why would I even be looking in the DD bin in the first place, right? Like I am trying to make huge boobs more noticeable. Go Pamela Lee. Sorry to rant about my big boob issues, but that kills me.

 

Ms. Roger

When are women going to realize that just because they make in your size doesn't mean you have to wear it! Like those little back out shirts in the summer that women wear. With about 4 rolls hanging out on the side. If your back is fat you shouldn't wear that . Back outs, Bikinis, etc.

 

Darlahood on sunny ol' Florida

Some trendy young folk think that anything purchased from the thrift store is going to give them that "edge" they've been craving. Not true! Every once in a while you find something cool, but mostly it's just crap that people have thrown out for a reason. Word to the wise: if it has a hole in it, dont buy it. That just screams "beggar." However, if one is cultivating the pauper, oliver twist, punk look, then by all means dress the part.

 

Tricia Royal

It makes me physically ill to see a large woman wearing tight ass skanky clothes, with all their fat rolls hanging out and about. it is so much more flattering to wear something that FITS properly than to attract unwanted attention by wearing clothes that don't fit your body type. just because it's in, doesn't mean we all have to wear it! fat rolls are NOT attractive to many people. on the same token, if your boobs are giant size, DO NOT wear a halter top or tube top, unless you have a really well fitting, well hidden bra to accommodate the shirt and not be seen by the world. i am also sick to death of seeing people wear huge ass jeans by jnco and kik wear and so on to raves. it's been the style for 12 years or something; it's time to move on! it's not like a required costume! have some originality, people!

 

Jen Briaus

Why do guys mostly feel it necessary to wear tube socks or what not with shorts? don't they realize how totally down right unfashionalble that is? why wear shorts if you only let your kneecaps get fresh air? i mean, why not just stick to pants? and those stripped tube socks went out like in the 70's, so why do men insist on wearing them still? just don't get it. guys better watch out i go on sock patrol in the summer and if you are plaing peek a boo knees with the shorts and socks i will tell you to pull down your socks and give you a fashion ticket

 

J.B.K. California

The worst of the worst is when some girls where those spagetti strapped tank tops, and they wear a white bra underneath it. And the bra looks as though they have not washed it in years. The straps are grey, brown and black all together. It is horrible. So, for all of those ladies who do this......NEWS FLASH, there is this cool invention called a strapless bra.

 

Andy Austin, TX

This particular faux pas has been ticking me off for a LONG TIME now... little brickabrack girls dressed up, wearing cute little tops and nice slinky silky skirts... with flipflops. Ugly, styrofoam-looking thong toe flip flops that look like they came out of the garbage bin behind a QuikyMart. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You may think its cute, it's not. Take some of the money you were saving to get your hair frosted again and buy a nice pair of shoes.

 

Shade Rushmore Austin, TX

Okay, number one, I HATE Tivas and Birkenstocks. I thought these things would have died now, but I see people wear them with bright-ass white socks, and it drives me nuts. I don't think men should wear open-toed shoes except for at the lake or in the community shower. I see people riding their bikes, moving furniture and doing other miscellaneous chores all while leaving their toes vulnerable to harm. What about these people that go to a show or out in the party district with flip-flops? If someone decides they want to mess with you when you are on your way back to your car, you can't even put in any effort to run away without your feet falling out of these ridiculous "shoes."Number two. I see this trend more with the junior high and high school girls. When you dress up, everything on your body is part of that effort. I often see a girl wearing a nice dress with appropriate sandals, jewelry, hair and makeup, and then as though to factor out the whole thing, they are wearing a major league puffy sports jacket with multiple colors and logos to boot. Oh, and it seems to always hang off of their shoulders down to their elbows. Hate that too! There are several basics that all men should know about clothes. Unfortunately, many guys don't have proper role models when it comes to dressing. If they did, they got it from their moms. I had the opportunity to work for several years in retail and am fortunate enough to have read many issues of GQ in the early 90's as well as a book dedicated to the sophistication of men. If you don't get it, mirror Frank Sinatra. He had dressy friends! Never wear brown at night. Brown is a day color. If you wore a brown suit to work, change to a dark color for your evening out on the town. Shoes, belts and wallets should all match. This seems simple, but almost everyday I see a guy with a brown belt and black shoes. This really pisses me off. It seems that the dot-boom, as last year's high tech success was called, produced many computer geeks with money who wanted to show it by buying clothes. Well, a pair of black Armani pants with brown Bally shoes and a Roundtree and Yorke belt from Dillard's doesn't make you suave. The coordination of those unique designs combines with your good fashion sense does!

 

anonymous

OK, I'm only gonna say this once. It does not look "natural" to have big, teased, sprayed bangs and permed 'ringlets' in the back. Can you say, " Mullet for a chick"?

 

Hot and Bothered but wearing more than a string bikini and rollerskates in Houston

One person: MARIAH CARREY!!!!!!!!!! A couple of things I gotta get off my chest: 1.Put some clothes on! I don't know why, but you ARE a role model to some young girls, and they aspire to be a rich Hoochy Mamma just like you. Show them clothes can be sexy while too much skin is skanky. 2.Just because you have money dose not mean you have good taste! It just means your cutoff shorts cost more than my car! 3. Basically .........you look like a slut, and oh by the, way only dogs can hear you sing.

 

Holly Forman

I know the mind gets funny when it finally hits 70 degrees in Minneapolis, but people should really take a good, honest look in the mirror before letting their [untanned] insecurities hang out the back of a pair of hot pants or those whore shirts. Shorty-short shorts should be worn by those who travel lightly in the trunk. How many more bottom eighths of ass cheeks do people have to see before dignity deprived clothing is outlawed and skanky dance-club girls will have to rely on their personalities to get talked to?

 

Holly-Catherine, 20 Minneapolis, MN

If you see anyone wearing white socks with those ugly leather doc martin sandals, sneak up behind them and take a brick to the back of their head. Ladies, wear sandals with bare feet or wear a pair of fucking SHOES with your socks. There is no in between on this one. What don't the socks-and-sandals people get? It boggles the mind. I should hand out informational pamphlets or something. These girls were raised wrong. I also happen to think that big logos SUCk. If you are wearing one, you may as well be a fucking BILLboard for Tommy or Nike or something. They sould be paying YOU.

 

Samantha Towne

White fucking flats. Actually, any sort of flat. Instant sausage legs.... Birkenstocks, hippie skirts with nasty ripped up jeans underneath-lookin like a Holly Hobby on day 6 after an E party....chicks who are not small enough for lycra but wear it anyway like Sir Mix-a-lot is gonna pop out and tell em Baby Go Back Home....Ha Ha...Oh yeah, and the silver-eyebrow thing. ( silver liner around the eyebrow/top-bottm. yes it's true...)And last but should be first---flat slip on dress shoes on men. The kind that are like the wicker-pattern with the tassel!!!!Yeah, Baby!!!!

 

Chris 26 Austin, TX

-On girls I hate panty lines, stirrup pants, and any kind of pants with an elastic waistband, and those gold "shrimp" earrings that all sorority girls wear, anything khaki. -On guys, I hate volleyball sunglasses, whitey tighteys, short shorts ie. running shorts that balls hang out of, gimmie caps, tight Wranglers with a starched in crease, anything khaki.

 

Eva Toronto Ontario,Canada

Little backpacks....huge black platforms on really skinny ladies...pointy or mishapen bras...dark lipliner with light lipstick...too tight bras....huge hoop earings Real fur!

 

Tina Lockwood 24 Austin, TX

-Panty hose with open toed shoes, short sleeved sweaters, long sleeved shirts with shorts, and mismatched belts and shoes.

 

Mel

my current most hated fashion: Visors. Worn frontward, backwards or especially backwards and upside down. Idiotic.

 

Candice Hagg 30 New York

-Stockings with open toed shoes are never attractive. The seam across the toes are not natural.

 

Jenny Webb 23 Alabama

-Tiffany is no longer a fashion icon. Take off the high heel shoes with jeans. The 80's are over.

 

Stephanie Corbin 28 Canada

-Sweat socks with dress shoes are unacceptable